Life in Silence

“Life is not complicated, don’t push your life hard.”

Actually, I don't really know what life in silence means when I put it on the title. At least, I think that is the best phrase that can depict what I felt now.

Life has changed drastically and this text is just a life update to release the complicated thought in my mind. Because you know sometimes people don’t understand your interest, your struggle, or your condition and it is absolutely okay. Because one that you need to understand is each people is unique, even the twins itself maybe not 100% share something in common.

Therefore, sometimes they don't need to know what is going on in your life. Don't push yourself to expect other people to understand you 100% completely. In other words, don't set your happiness or your sadness on something that you can't control. Be independent, seek a happiness by your own with something that you can control.

“Be a goldfish”
-Ted Lasso

That is what life thought me recently, at least for the last 12 months. I found myself trapped in a situation where the happiness only came from another people validation. Like you find a randomly great song or a funny meme and you try to show it to your friends, relative, or anyone that you are probably happy to share something with and suddenly they only show a so-so response and you turn to be sad. People have their own struggles, maybe they don't really have an energy when you show it to them or they just don’t really go into it. It’s totally fine, maybe on another occasion they will laugh or happy to listen that great song or maybe you have just simply shared it to wrong people. But until then, don't forget that you are happy because you find that song or you see that meme. It is not because another people approve it.

That is why life in silence is totally worth it. Because people deserve to be happy. You deserve a compliment for yourself, you deserve a reward for yourself. Don’t bother to hope to get it from anybody. The one who know your whole fight is only you. That is why, the first one that supposed to appreciate your work is you and it's enough. It's good to have it from another people, but yourself is enough. Let's make your fight enjoy, don't make it hard for yourself.

I try this way for last 12 month and my mind just started to be clear and good things start to happen. Life started to be simpler because the afraidness to start something is no longer affected by another people validation.

Indonesia,
Sept 2023